Don't Fight The Instincts
by Unsaid Goodbyes
Summary: “I know what it’s like to feel worthless,” He continued, his face still somber, “To feel used and like you just ain’t good enough for nobody. I might be a man, but that don’t mean I didn’t feel every bit as crummy as you do now.” OOC. AU/AH.


A/N: This one-shot is based off the song _**Boston**_ by Augustana. It's also my first story (one-shot) using Jasper and Alice as the main characters. I made Alice a little OOC, but that's because she's a little jaded right now, and a bit reproachful towards any men. The lyrics to the song will be split in two parts, at the top and bottom. I hope you enjoy...

Summary: "I know what it's like to feel worthless," He continued, his face still somber, "To feel used and like you just ain't good enough for nobody. I might be a man, but that don't mean I didn't feel every bit as crummy as you do now." OOC. AU/AH.

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**Title: **Don't Fight The Instinct

**Rating: **T

**Authors: **Breathless Tomb

One-Shot

**3****rd**** Person's POV**

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_In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh, it has begun...  
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,  
This world you must've crossed...you said..._

_You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,  
She said,  
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chain...oh yeah..._

_Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts,  
Across an open field,  
When flowers gaze at you...they're not the only ones who cry  
When they see you,  
You said..._

Light chatter filled the bar that night, a few people settled in the plush booths and at the counter. The darkness of the night seeped in through the open windows, the cool mid-autumn wind blowing in. It was a slow night in Sayre, Oklahoma—and Jasper couldn't have been happier. He leaned back against the wall, scrubbing out the inside of an old beer mug.

He wrinkled his nose, his stormy grey eyes filled with confusion. He'd never understood the attraction some of the senior customers had to half-cleaned, rippled mugs. Perhaps nostalgia. At the thought, he frowned, then shook his head. He'd promised himself he wouldn't bring up those memories again. Running his hand through his dirty blonde hair, he slammed the glass back down onto the counter.

"A cranberry screw," said a gloomy, dainty voice in front of him. Looking up, he saw a tiny raven-haired girl slip onto the stool right across from him. Her eyes were red-rimmed, her nose tipped cerise. She'd been crying. There was no doubting it. Without a word, he grabbed the Martini shaker and filled it with ice, adding a few ingredients. Pressing the button, he waited until it was done before pouring it into a glass.

"What's a filly like you doing here, lookin' like you're a fixin' to burst into tears?" He asked the girl softly, handing her the glass. He would've asked for her ID—considering how young she physically looked—, but her eyes held an imperceptible wisdom to them. He knew without asking that she was at _least_ two years younger than him.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," She grumbled, taking a small sip. She avoided looking at him, choosing to instead watch a game of darts being played at the other end of the bar. He chuckled, holding out his hand.

"My name would be Jasper," He introduced himself with a smile. The girl turned back to him, looking at his hand like he might just suddenly grab her arm and throw her to the ground. "Shake it," He laughed, his mood rising, "And stop quivering so much. You look like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs." The girl cracked a smile—though it was nearly invisible—and reached across to take his hand.

"I'm Alice," She muttered, pulling back quickly. Seeing that Alice's glass was nearly done, Jasper quickly pulled out a few ingredients, her refill ready when she passed the Martini glass back to him.

"Now," He began, going back to half-cleaning the mugs, "As I had said before, what's a soft-voiced Tinkerbelle like yourself doing in such a place as this?" He gestured around the bar, his eyes flitting up to the heavy smoke in the rafters, then flicking back down to Alice.

She truly didn't belong in this place. With her delicate features and ink hair. Her little dancer's body belonged at a ballet, or in some Shakespeare play. Not in some dirty sports bar. She looked like a gem among fool's gold, her presence so striking and captivating.

Seeing that she was reluctant to answer, Jasper grinned, saying, "I don't know why you seem so frightened. If you can't trust your bartender with your secrets, who can you trust?" He was teasing her, but curiosity did lay in his voice. He stopped cleaning the mugs, giving her his full attention.

"Relationship issues," She smiled ruefully, "Plus it's my birthday, so I decided to treat myself to a few drinks." Jasper felt a pang at his heart at her first few words.

"What kind of issues?" He asked over the roar of the customers as they watched the game on one of the plasma televisions. Alice said nothing for a minute, playing with the orange slice that had originally been resting at the top of her glass. Then she spoke.

"My boyfriend of a year dumped me for some other girl." Jasper's eyebrows shot up.

"On your birthday?!" She gave a solitary nod, and Jasper could see her eyes begin to tear up again, showing just how much it really hurt her on the inside. Reaching across the counter, he took one of her hands in his. Her hand was cold and damp from the condensation on her Martini glass. But, as cool as her hand was, it was also warm, and something deep inside him tingled at her touch.

"There now," He soothed in a hushed whisper, "It'll be alright. If he decided to hurt you so bad on your _birthday_, then he ain't worth your tears." Alice nodded, trying to reassure herself, but it didn't appear to be doing much. "Now, you wipe those pretty little eyes of yours. It don't matter what no one done to you, you understand? It all matters on how you take it. You don't have to get all choked up."

"Why do you care?" She asked, the tears dried up.

Somehow, Jasper didn't know. So he simply shrugged and went back to wordlessly consoling her. It was instinctual—primal really—to comfort the small elf of a girl. And he really didn't try to push away the instincts. He simply held her hand, intertwining their fingers. It was awkward, and didn't really work, as her fingers were a lot smaller and leaner than him—but he loved the feeling.

"I don' know," He finally said aloud, "Alls I know is that you shouldn't be wasting tears over that sorry son of a bitch. He ain't worth crying over. You should be happy." He smiled, "What if you hadn't broken up? What if you ended up marrying him one day? Ain't it better knowing what kind of _boy_ he is _now_, than learning about his cheating ways in twenty years with two kids?"

Half of her looked like she agreed, but her hurt, jaded side chose to speak instead, "How would you know? You've never hurt like this, I bet! You're just like everyone else. A perfect life and thinking you can just tell me how to feel."

Jasper was silent for a moment, until he let go of her hand, straightened himself up and walked away. Alice's face crumpled with regret, but she said nothing as he went into the back. New tears now prickled at the backs of her eyes, for an entirely different reason, but she wasn't ready to admit to herself what it was. She was about to pay for her drinks and leave, when a tall figure shadowed over her again.

He stood there again, his face grave. But he was holding something between his thumb and forefinger. Alice glanced down and gasped. A tiny brunette stood in the picture, her face serene. She was gorgeous, with long, flowing dark hair—though lighter and longer than Alice's own hair—and crystal blue eyes. Atop her head was a cowboy's hat. Jasper was in the picture as well, and though he was smiling, it didn't reach his eyes.

"This," He said, pointing to the girl in the photo, "Is Maria. She was my sweetheart back in Texas—I moved here about a month ago, just to inform you." With trembling fingers, Alice took the photograph, inspecting it closer.

"What happened?" She asked in a small voice.

"She was my sweetheart for nearly three years. She made me happy for the longest time. Sure she had a bit of a temper, but she was fun and we were so alike. We got along great. But there was always something…missing in our relationship. So I decided to take action one night. I was going to give my virginity to her. The one last decent piece of me. I thought it would help me actually love her."

Alice's face reflected her growing suspense, "But you didn't?"

"The night I went over was the night I found out that there was no decent part of _her_." He took a deep breath, "I didn't love her when I was with her. I knew I didn't love her. But that don't mean it didn't break my heart when I found her that night in her bed with some local fellow." Alice's mouth made a small 'o' form.

"I know what it's like to feel worthless," He continued, his face still somber, "To feel used and like you just ain't good enough for nobody. I might be a man, but that don't mean I didn't feel every bit as crummy as you do now. So, the next day, I packed up, said goodbye to my folks, and saddled on out."

Alice couldn't speak. Her voice was gone—had deserted her somewhere in the middle of his story. Her big peridot eyes were glassy with unshed tear, filled with pity and guilt. Jasper—noticing the emotions rolling off her in waves—smiled and shook it off.

"Don't feel sorry for me," He said with a calm grin, "I got to meet you by moving here, and I got to keep my virginity from some slut." Alice looked thoughtful for a second before she blushed gently.

"So, you're still a…"

"Of course. You think I'd give it up after _that?_ I kind of swore off women for awhile."

And then, little Alice raised her chin up a fraction and asked, "Well Jasper. Even if you've sworn off women for now, do you mind joining me to the party my friends are throwing for me tomorrow? As friends of course."

His smile widened, "Why, I'd have to be dumber than dirt to say _no_ to you, Miss Alice." Reaching in front of him, he undid the felt buttons on his black vest, "Let me walk you to your car, my darling sprite. My shift's over now anyway." He gave a nod to the other guy behind the counter, then hopped over the marble counter itself.

And as they walked hand-in-hand out the door, Alice looked up and asked him, "You know why I didn't want to talk to you?"

"No, why?"

"Because, the moment I saw your face, I knew you were someone I'd been waiting my whole life for. And that scared me. But…not anymore. It's still early and all, but…I think…I can trust you." Then she suddenly winked, "And if you were _going_ to ask, _yes_. I am a virgin." Jasper regarded her quizzically for a second, before he threw back his head in laughter.

"I think I can trust you too, my sprite. I think so too."

_You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,  
She said,  
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains…oh yeah…_

_She said I think I'll go to Boston…  
I think I'll start a new life,  
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,  
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,  
I think I'll get a lover and fly 'em out to Spain._

_I think I'll go to Boston,  
I think that I'm just tired  
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind…  
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,  
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice…oh yeah…_

_Boston…where no one knows my name…yeah  
Where no one knows my name,  
Where no one knows my name,  
Yeah Boston…  
Where no one knows my name._

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A/N: Well, that's the end. I highly recommend you listen to the song while reading this…or after...whenever. It's an amazing song. You won't be disappointed. Tell me what you think, by clicking that little button. You know the word.

R-E-V-I-E-W.

--Breathless Tomb--


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